You should go see ‘Dark Knight’ immediately.

I just got back from seeing the 12:01 showing, and I’m still so wired about it I had to write something. I honestly thought that all the hype surrounding the movie was mainly because Heath Ledger’s rather untimely death, but it turns out that his portrayal of the Joker was beyond about 90% of the performances I’ve seen on screen. I don’t think that the Joker was ever supposed to be the campy, well-coiffed, happy-go-lucky Jack Nickleson rendition (which I loved btw), although that was a good movie and a good performance.

Ledger owned the role on a different level. He made the Joker into a chaotic, morbidly amusing (but immensely entertaining), disheveled, extremely disturbed embodiment of insanity without purpose or motive. Sometimes I watch movies with the intent of seeing the actors compete over owning the screen, over truly taking the IDEA of the character inside of themselves and spitting out something new–something that even the best screenwriters couldn’t come up with. He pulled it off and blew the pants off of anyone else in the movie. The idiosyncrasies that he blended into the role were so believable and genuine that after several of his monologues or sequences people clapped. Nobody talked, nobody went to the bathroom–for 3 hours. (relevant side note: I considered peeing on myself)

One great performance can’t hold an entire movie together, and Chris Nolan (director of the last one too) put together some shots and scenes that were impossible to look away from. The action sequences were super tits, trust me–almost never lets up.

I loved Batman when I was a kid, and I started to love the comics even more when other artists and writers actually morphed Batman from the ‘Caped Crusader’ into the ‘Dark Knight.’ The joker was always written as a villain who was ever present, but was never REALLY a threat to Gotham. He had these insanely intricate (but easily defeated) schemes that ‘The Bat’ normally knocked out in the first few pages. Not so much in this flick.

That was not only the best Batman movie I’ve ever seen by a looOOoOoong shot, but the best of the ’super hero’ genre as well. I abhor when movies get lamed up with corny shit for a few laughs or become so predictable that you could go get a soda, come back, and could guess what happened in your absence (lookin’ at you, Hellboy II..what a waste). Well, this wasn’t it. I really think that the hardest roles to nail are the insane ones. Whatever mental barrier that has kept most from owning a truly insane persona on screen are, Ledger went far beyond them and never looked back.

Heath Ledger = The Joker.

I’m pissed that he can’t be in any sequels, and that shit for brains ‘actors’ are ruining good roles everywhere.

1) John McCain is old and crazy. I actually don’t dislike this dude, but—-his senility is showing. Its not stupidity, just that unavoidable entropy is clearly taking a toll on his excessively wrinkled brain. You can’t spend years in a POW camp and come back firing on all cylinders. I don’t think he knows what ‘economics’ means, he’s 322, and finally my lady tells me that he wears makeup.

2) I will never, ever, eVAR go to the Power & White District again. It must have been a couple of months ago that I went, and just remembered how lamesauce that shit was. Stayed at that bowling alley for maybe 30 minutes. Look, I enjoy being around drunken White people as much as most people do–but I still don’t feel comfortable in a place specifically designed to repel minorities. Omnipresent blaring country music? Blatantly bigoted dress codes that are selectively enforced? 800 over-priced Irish Pubs? No thanks. If you happen to see me there, I have been kidnapped by rednecks. Don’t just stare, help bitch!

I’m not a child nor am I a rapper, so none of these apply to me. However, they do apply to plenty of people I know who don’t exactly qualify as thugs. I think the part that’s getting these bigots in trouble is that they reeeeaally don’t care if stan-ass-johnson county White kids are wearing this stuff, which I saw in spades on my last voyage down there. Can you even say ’spades’ down there? Doubtful.

This will inevitably lead to the downfall of the Power & White profitability, and I’ll show you how:

   1. Actual thug-ass Black dudes attract suburban White broads with money, thus ensuring that their powerless fathers will be infuriated and thereby cementing their ‘rebellious’ phase completion. Hooray!

  2. Suburban White girls with money attract suburban white dudes with money, who buy up the bar after they spot Shirley/Susan/Mary/Amanda/Jill/etc in the corner grinding hard on Tyrone. Nothing cures heartache like 300% marked-up liquor. Drink the pain away!

3. Causality shows us that limiting the supply of Black dudes will invariably limit the overall White attendance in the Power & White, making profit margins slimmer and slimmer. This is the beginning of the end.

Can’t argue with science!

….oh wait, Kansas argues with science…dammit.

 I almost boycotted the UFC last week.

 OK..so my boycott threat was only forealsies for about 10 seconds after the decision went in Forrest’s favor, but that was a pretty hostile 10 seconds. I went to Buffalo Wild Wings over on the Kansas side to watch the fight, mainly surrounded by Forrest fans. Obviously, I was pulling for Rampage and seemed to me and anyone else with eyes that he was shafted.

I haven’t booed that loud since the last time I went to church.

I never wanted the UFC to start becoming a popularity contest, with Dana White pulling the strings behind who holds the belts. I still think yts are mad that Dana’s golden boy Liddell got knocked out by our boy Rampage last year and has been itching to get Forrest the title in there for some time.

(sigh)

Let’s hope Dana hurries up and sets up Rampage vs Forrest II: “The Black Attack” or whatever campy slogan is left to title it..

 Whatever. At least I still have Anderson Silva to watch.

 Muay Thai, FTW!