Since the Saudis are doing their best to obscure the exact amount of oil they are sitting on, they and the rest of the OPEC jerks are bent on squeezing as much money out of the car addicts as possible. Oil production doesn’t even have to obey the laws of regularly accepted Keynesian macroeconomics—the basics of supply and demand. Have you seen how hard the Saudis have been ballin recently? People here seem to think rappers have money because they have a heavy pendant on a platinum chain. I find it incredibly amusing that the FSM decided to locate the countries that hate our guts but love our money directly over oceans of Black gold. This effects me directly in (2) ways:

1) There will eventually be a final world war that has nothing to do with the Antichrist or Armageddon. It’ll all come down to resource allocation between the largest oil consuming countries (China, America, Russia)–who will be fighting over the last drop of that sweet crude goodness. Hell it may jump off before then based on the geniuses who control this country. This bothers me because I haven’t sourced all the necessary funding to build my spaceship allowing me to get the fuck off this doomed planet before it’s reduced to radioactive space dust.

2) As the price of gas keeps climbing, and the government keeps making money off of the taxes on it–some asshole somewhere is going make regular internal combustion fuel cars illegal at some point. It’d be nice if the government subsidized at least SOME gas costs, but I guess when you’re spending 500 billion a year in ‘defense’ you don’t have the money to actually help your citizens get by. This affects me because the entire point of my life on this planet revolves around my eventual and unavoidable aquisition of the Ferrari F430 Scuderia.

I swear to the Flying Spaghetti Monster that if I have the $230,000 ready to get one and they tell me I have to buy a pussy-boy matt damon dirt-powered hippie hybrid ghey pseudocar, someone’s getting shot. Believe that.

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