Bottled water HAS to be one of the greatest con jobs of all time.

It will never cease to amaze me when people hold their noses up to an offer of tap/fountain water and will only drink this shit if it’s bottled up and sold by companies like Aquafina Pepsi or Dasani Coke . Nevermind that neither company uses either of their ‘water’ for their other products…but I guess that doesn’t matter to sheeple much. I guess it also doesn’t matter to people that Pepsi recently had to admit that Aquafina isn’t made from some magical pure water stream, as they would like sheeple to believe, but instead it’s made from regular-ass tap water. Few things annoy me more than these people that really believe that they need to drink exactly what the people who sell this stuff tell them. I guess some people really enjoy having clear piss because they’ve flooded all their brain cells away–rendering rational thought nearly impossible. Bottled tap water is an 11 BILLION DOLLAR industry in the United States. Really? In the fattest, most gluttonous country on Earth, people are consuming 26.9 BILLION liters of bottled tap water per year. Why?

Ask a water addict, and they’ll tell you “Well I’m just making sure that I get my 8-10 glasses of water per day.” Promptly slap these persons. If this is you, (sigh), grow up and help yourself to a science book. One of these water nazis actually argued with a chemistry professor I had in college who hasn’t drank water in 40 years, and thinks this whole phenomenon is ridiculous [i loved that guy, (no homo)]. You’ve seen these people, walking around with gatdam water back packs, canteens, and half gallon bottles–like they were on a trek across the Sahara. All this because it ‘looks’ healthy.

Quick fact: Your body is smarter than you. Water is in everything you eat and drink, and your body can separate what it needs. Take a look at the water content in packaged meats.

Remember that this ‘8 a day’ figure didn’t reach prevalence until they started selling this stuff. Nevermind that you already pay a water bill, and that bottled water has NEVER been proven any healthier than tap water (assuming you don’t live in Calcutta, of course). Is there a reason that bottled water costs more than gasoline per gallon? In addition to that ridiculous fact, the most commonly used plastic for making water bottles is polyethylene terephthalate (PET), which is derived from crude oil. Making bottles to meet Americans’ demand for bottled water requires more than 1.5 million barrels of oil annually, enough to fuel some 100,000 U.S. cars for a year. Worldwide, some 2.7 million tons of plastic are used to bottle water each year. Nice.

Drink up and spend up, idiots. Remember, Evian is ‘Naive’ spelled backwards.

This entry was posted on Friday, August 3rd, 2007 at 2:59 pm and is filed under annoyances. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.