F

I was having a discussion recently about how musicians either:

a) following a ‘creative hiatus’ deteriorate inexplicably with the comeback album relying on old habits and formulas while attempting to shoehorn old tricks into the current style.

b) completely ‘revamp’ their style with changes in what made them good in the first place, only to find that they really, REALLY suck at it.

c) lose their talent.

All three apply to Eminem.

His latest, “Rehab”, is 80 minutes of a painful realization that the innovation and lyrical ability that made Em so diesel are dead and long gone. I wasn’t sure if i was just holding him to an unfairly high standard (based on his body of work), until I thought about it further.

The entire reason people download buy followup albums (or see sequels) is that they have an expectation of at LEAST the same level of greatness than made them get into the artist in the first place. That weak-ass sing-songy style of constructing a song is overplayed so much on this album that I ended up not getting through more than two verses on each song.

This is a seriously terrible album, and I can only  be consoled by listening to the Marshall Mathers LP whenever I need to get my Em fix. But even when I do decide to go back in time and listen to him when he’s still good, the stink of ‘Relapse’ will be all over every track.

Usually the incredibly talented artists lose their minds at some point (see exhibit #1 and #2), but for Em I wonder if binging on pills and the sauce made him so great in the past. If so, I will certainly forge prescriptions so he can get back to making good shit worth listening to.

F GTFOH, muzik

I don’t have much to write about this particular story, pretty sure it speaks for itself.

“A prominent Iraqi human rights activist says that Iraqi militia have deployed a painful form of torture against homosexuals by closing their anuses using ‘Iranian gum.’ …Yina Mohammad told Alarabiya.net that, ‘Iraqi militias have deployed an unprecedented form of torture against homosexuals by using a very strong glue that will close their anus.’ According to her, the new substance ‘is known as the American hum, which is an Iranian-manufactured glue that if applied to the skin, sticks to it and can only be removed by surgery. After they glue the anuses of homosexuals, they give them a drink that causes diarrhea. Since the anus is closed, the diarrhea causes death. Videos of this form of torture are being distributed on mobile cellphones in Iraq.’”

I find it amazing that seemingly on gay people care what’s now happening in Iraq, I thought that this particularly disturbing form of torture was confined to Wu-Tang CD’s in the late 90s. I suppose people only care about intolerance when it affects them directly. Maybe for most Americans, Iraqis are subhuman anyways (like any other brown people of the world)–and gay Iraqis don’t even register on the give a shit spectrum.When I googled the subject, the only people  that were writing anything more than a blurb were on gay sites.

Oh also this is another destructive characteristic of idiotic religious doctrine that promote violence against people who are historically underrepresented or oppressed. Of course, these things are immune from reproach or consequence because ‘god told them to do it.’

Wtf is wrong with people?

F religious bullshit, wtf

I’m intensely interested in what will happen with Mike Vick.

I’m sure those PETA freaks will try and make life hell for any NFL team with the balls to give him a second chance. Why? Because if your PETA, not even people are more important than animals. This is a multimillion-dollar organization who has the power to lobby congress and sway public opinion (of idiots). Not that I don’t care about animals, but I have a human being imperative. I have a high level of interest in the improvement of the human condition.

PETA’s the only organization, besides the Church, with an entirely questionable pretense that flies in the face of basic logic. Their motto is ‘Animals are not ours to eat, wear, experiment on, or for use in entertainment.’

• Eating/Wearing animals ensured the survival of human beings throughout history. Please visit your local museum.
• Its either experiment on animals or experiment on people who society’s forgotten about: the homeless.
• Animals do funny shit sometimes, and as I am not allowed to have my own court jester whom I pay in grass clippings and make live in a shed–emerging only to juggle things and tell me hilarious jokes–I’ll wait for the next youtube monkey fight.

Notice that we have several large, rich, lobbying organizations for animals, trees, and effin’ GUNS–but groups that advocate for the homeless, education, or basic human rights are perpetually cash strapped. Awesome.

Anyways this idiot dude has lost more money than the GDP of a small country. He went to prison. He’s become a national pariah. He’s in the hole $4 million, owes the Falcons $6.5 million, and will take a $10/hr construction job once he’s out on house arrest. I think he’s done with the punishment phase of his life resultant from his retarded lack decision-making ability. The man deserves his second chance.

By the way, where is the national outrage over drunk ass Donte Stallworth? HE KILLED SOMEONE.

Oh right, I guess if that someone was walking his dog then maybe PETA would have something to say.

I guess it’s back to stalking people with fur coats on.

F annoyances, sports

Can people please stop damn break dancing everywhere with 10 square feet of floor space? There’s a group of REAL ADULTS in KC who like to show up at hip hop shows, clubs, street corners, etc..and FUCKIN DANCE EVERYWHERE. You have to walk around them and they all stink like old socks.

Nobody is here to see a group of 30 year-olds ‘battling’ each other, squirming around on the ground like epileptics with stobe light goggles on. These are likely the type of people who practice dance routines at home the apartment in front of the mirror–then go out. They show up with elbow and kneepads on, sweatbands fresh out the packaging. GTFOH, grow up. I do dumb, childish shit too–but I do the most annoying of which at home so as not to inconvenience anyone who goes out for a decent reason.

The only people who breakdance anymore are:

• sweaty Asian kids in clubs with bleached bangs and baggy pants.
• street ‘performers’, dancing for double cheeseburgers.
• people who are stuck the 1980s.

I just saw them again on KCTV5 as they were attempting to cover the people who are at the Power & White watching the tournament.Instead, I was treated to a good 15 seconds of these idiots just dancing in front of the bigscreens while the White lady was talking about basketball.

Next time you and your ‘crew’ have a solid new routine, please stay the hell at home. Nobody wants to see that shit, and the two groupies who follow you around will come to your apartment anyways.

good riddance.

F annoyances, dance jig, dance.

This silly negro actually said that he believed that abortion is a choice. Talk about getting out of pocket.

First, Steelio had the audacity to disagree with the GOP overlord, Rush Limbaugh. That was enough to simulatenously fog up conservative monocles at suburban country clubs across America. Know your role, fool. They only let you become the Party Chair because it makes them look like they aren’t a party made up of 99.99% White people.

Everyone knows independent thinking isn’t exactly part of the way conservative ideology operates. In fact, conservative thought is an oxymoron. All you had to do is stand there and be acceptably Black, and you go espousing dangerous ideas like choice.

Game over, stupid. Back to fetching coffee.

Turn in your monacle.

F Uncategorized

I make this whenever all the ingredients are handy. I just ate this beast and i must say, the arteries don’t feel so good and breathing is slightly labored. My hungries are gone though, score.

Ingredients:

• two pieces of white bread, toasted (no wheat bread, hippie)

• 2 over-easy eggs with all sorts of Lawry’s © on them

• 4 pieces of pork bacon

• 4 slices of ham

• 2 slices of cheddar

• like, 7 jalapenos

Combine and eat quickly, that way you get all the cholesterol goodness ASAP.

Proceed to toilet.

F Uncategorized

Been reading about Darreon Murray-Brown, a kid who got shot for what looks like no good reason and the 21st murder in KC this year. Sick of this shit. However, it only pisses me off when people that actually have a chance at being productive members of society get killed. Other than them, I think people need to have better common sense and rationality when it comes to their actions. Make smarter choices people.

Here are the people who deserve bullets due to lapses in judgement:

If you want drive from Overland Park to 27th street to buy dope, and the dope mans’ boys decide to rob and shoot your White ass, I don’t care what happens to you. It’s called ‘consequences.’

I don’t do drugs because there’s no logical reason to. You have to deal with people who, odds are, don’t have your best interests in mind. That and I’m cheap. It’s funny when people I know are high everyday and bitch about not having any money. That and I’d rather not be yet another drop in the ocean of 18-30 year old Black males sharing showers in federal ‘pound me in the ass’ prison.

If you drank too much Hennessey at the local coonery club, started running your mouth at the types of dudes who keep .45s in the trunk–and you get shot–I don’t care. Preening and posturing for club girls isn’t that important. It’s called ‘consequences.’

This is the main reason I don’t go to clubs. Sometimes you have to fight people, and since the term ‘tough guy’ now apparently equals ‘I brought a gun with me,’ the shit ain’t worth it. Call me out all you want to. Coons are SO concerned about getting their ass beat in front of ugly club sluts, they’d rather skip to homicide. Heaven forbid someone accidentally scuffs your air forces or spills some of your liquor that you skipped on buying baby formula to buy. No thanks. The worst part for citizens is that coons don’t stand-aim-shoot. They cower-run-spray indiscriminately, and that’s why random people get shot. I don’t want to end up on CSI, so I stay my Black ass at home or only go to local dive bars.

I can drink at home and the ipod has an excellent playlist.

Proposed Solutions:

1. I think we should section off entire city blocks, in every metro area that has violent crime ‘issues’ and suspend generally accepted laws and morays for that particular areas. Sort of like Hamsterdam on The Wire. Druggies, hookers, bangers–you can all relocate in the New Free Corridor. You will be arrested on sight if we see you in Kansas City. You can shoot people with impunity there, but you should also know that you shouldn’t bother calling for an ambulance if YOU get your ass shot off.

2. If you have a legitimate beef with someone outside of The Corridor, you can fist fight like a man in Kansas City or you can resort to gunplay in The Corridor. No rolling shootouts on 71, no spraying the crowd at the club. If you get your ass kicked–learn how to fight better, you pussy.

3. In order to prioritize the importance of shooting who you aim for, if you kill a citizen (aka: a productive member of society, a child, etc)–the penalty is public execution. I think that ought to drop the number of innocent bystanders catching bullets because some idiot never went to a gun range and learned how to aim.

Can I be Mayor?

F annoyances

Rap has been so stale recently I’ve had to re-release albums on my own. Last couple of days I went entirely through a couple of my favorites out of audio boredom.

Some results from my research is as follows:

1. Jay is the true GOAT.

I honestly hate to admit that, but looking at his body of work–it’s really not close. I prefer Nas’s more emphatic, intelligent and relevant material–but Nastradamus ruined all of that. I remember being beyond offended when I bought that disc. Kingdom Come > Nastradamous + I Am. If we scratch those two from NaS’s resume, he’s got the crown.

2. The best song I’ve ever heard is ‘Things Done Changed’ from Ready to Die.

I loved plenty of other songs before and after this one, but I feel the EXACT same way I felt in 1994 when I couldn’t stop listening to this album that I do right now. From this track right into ‘Gimmie the Loot’ is so ridiculous I have to listen at least once a week on the ipod and just grill people. Like a two-piece of perfection.

Slightly relevant: the fact that people still dwell on Pac v Big cracks me up. That shit wasn’t close then and it isn’t close in retrospect. Seriously, stop it.

3. Goodie Mob is the most underrated group ever. Soul Food c.1995, you bitches. /end discussion.

4. Black Thought is a BEAST. How the hell are the Roots getting better every every album!?!

(sigh)

Drop a single tear for the golden age.

Back to the nowish, I’ve been on a Yesterday’s New Quintet binge for a minute.

Don’t see an end to that any time soon.

F muzik

From the idiot department, the Mayor of Los Alamitos California had to resign this week due to his dumbassedness. He thought it would be funny to send a racist email to his friends with the picture below, titled ‘No Easter Egg Hunt This Year.‘

While I appreciate the  6-second photoshop effort, I’m still struck as to why people think that their forwarded emails magically won’t contain their names. I really don’t care about the bigotry, I’m sure there are far worse emails being circulated among some White people email listserves.

The best part of this story was that when he apologized he rationalized that “He wasn’t aware of the negative stereotype of Blacks and watermelon” …classic. I would’ve gone with the Mel Gibson “I’m an alcoholic and can’t be held responsible for my actions” defense.

Stupid.

F annoyances, the gubmint

“The intellectual incoherence is stunning. Basically, the political philosophy of the GOP right now seems to consist of snickering at stuff that they think sounds funny. The party of ideas has become the party of Beavis and Butthead.”

- Nobel Laureate Paul Krugman

While we can all be certain that a Nobel winning economist such as Paul Krugman doesn’t know much about economics as much as say, Rush Limbaugh or Sean Hannity, I find this statement rather important. In the GOP’s mad dash to rescue the dwindling importance of their party and begin campaigning early, they forgot the motto they were trying to use to win an election only a couple of months ago: “country first”. There is no other way to interpret their actions at this point.

We have Republican Governors refusing federal funding for necessary projects their states, and Republican representatives obstructing every stimulus dollar in the house and senate. I guess Texas, Louisiana, South Carolina, Idaho, and Alaska are immune from current economic conditions.

Moody’s Economy.com forecasted job losses for 2009. Three of the states listed above- South Carolina, Louisiana, and Mississippi- are projected to experience some of the largest job losses in the country, more than 2.1% across the board. The state budgets are flailing, with four of the six states looking at budget shortfalls in excess of 5% of the respective state’s general fund.

So these states, like most of the rest, actually NEED the money. The money they are refusing is largly to shore up each state’s unemployment programs, in addition to extending unemployment insurance to laid off part-time workers. What gives? Political opportunism. Republicans would prefer to bolster their stance for the next elections as the ‘We Didn’t Vote for the Stimulus” party, because even if it does work the effects won’t be seen till after the next round of elections. What this means is that the Grand Obstructionist Party would rather let the economy get worse and score political points than have the Obama administrations’ plan succeed and they look like even bigger idiots than they have over the last 8 years.

The worst thing that could happen here, as a Republican, is that Obama’s plan begins to help repair our economy and he get credit. We stop hemorrhaging jobs, consumer confidence begins to rise, and those ’strings attached’ that they’re incessantly bitching about (aka healthcare, infrastructure, schools) actually improve the aggregate quality of life for Americans.

‘Country First’ my ass.

I hate the idea of leveraging our fiscal and monetary policy at the cost of our future debts, but I REALLY hate when people oppose plans then have no plan of their own.

That’s like someone riding shotgun and telling you not to take the highway to the airport. You get off the highway and ask what route you should take instead, and they proceed to keep talking about why the highway isn’t a good idea without providing better way.

F republican bullshit, the gubmint